You're on holiday and the couple screwing in the next room are keeping you awake all night. Do you
1. Knock on the wall and tell them to keep it down?
2. Record the audio and replay it in the bar next day?
3. Call room service for nibbles and dips and suggest a foursome?
What's the worst thing you've ever done at a party?
1. Puked in a pot plant and not told anyone?
2. Shat on a glass coffee table while other guests watched from below?
3. Played a Sting album?
4. Something worse?
Do you ever play with yourself on the train to work?
1. Only when the train is empty.
2. Only when the train is full!
3. Only on a Tuesday.
You take a dump and find there's no toilet paper. Do you
1. Look around for some newspaper or something?
2. Just pull your pants up and continue cooking lunch!
3. Let the dog lick it clean!
If your girlfriend says she wants a brazilian, would you ...
1. Tell her to please herself.
2. Buy her a ticket to Rio!
3. Lend her your penknife.
You're making breakfast naked and some butter drops on your tool. Do you ...
1. Go to the bathroom and clean up?
2. Wipe it off with your toast!
3. Put some marmalade on top.
Have you ever pissed in a cup and then drunk it?
1. Sure, i've done that three or four times.
2. Not in my worst nightmare!
3. My girlfriend and i piss in the same glass then drink it.
Your husband is having an affair with his secretary. Do you ...
1. Admit you're also having an affair with her.
2. Tell him to leave.
3. Say he can bang her in your bed while you video it!
Have you ever had sex with an animal?
1. No but i'd like to try it.
2. My girlfriend stinks like a pig; does that count?
3. I once said i did it with a cow but i was just bull-shitting.
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